The Bot Murders

Turn 125
Curiouser and Curiouser...

...Double Your Life Span, Double Your Clones, With Double-Vat, Double-Vat Clones! Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 125: Curiouser and Curiouser…

Aken-R walks out of the closet, carrying a small sheet of paper. Inside the paper is some dust, a fossilized wad of gum, a paperclip and a jagged piece of plastic. He looks down on it and frowns.

Isaac-O follows him out of the closet, saying, “I’m just trying to see if it’s hygienic! You can’t be too careful with Hygiene!” He smiles winningly at Aken-R.

Aken-R says, “It’s another piece of plastic, and it has a symbol on it,” and puts his head so close to it that his nose almost touches it. He continues, “It’s the Corpore Metal sign. But that does not make sense! Friend Isaac, what did you say the gang sign on your piece of plastic was? Frankenstein Destroyers, was it?” He looks up at a security camera before continuing, “Corpore Metal members want to exterminate human citizens to make room for robots. Frankenstein Destroyers want to remove robots to make room for humans. They are enemies. Why would we find evidence of malfeasance from both of them? Why, indeed?” He frowns, squints, and puts a finger along his nose in something that resembles a thoughtful look.

Dean-O seems to still be reading his pamphlet.

Meanwhile, Howard-R absently takes the offered pistol from Phil-R and continues searching the ashes.

Mr Sock asks, “So did you find anything in those ashes over there, friend troubleshooter?”

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 – 1 (missed turn) = 65 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 31 + 1 ([DFSR]) = 32 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 55 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 61 – 1 (missed turn) = 60 PP
  • Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 55 PP
  • Open Slot (???): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Thursday.

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Turn 124
Clues Clues Everywhere!

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 124: Clues Clues Everywhere!

Dean-O puts his PDC away, puts on the armband, and starts to read through the pamphlet.

Howard-R says, “Sure, citizen. I am not worried about getting my hands dirty.” He goes back around the corner, and starts searching the ashes. Turning to the a camera, he says, “The idea that PURGE is involved worries me. They are both bomb planting terrorists and people who want to destroy friend computer. Such insane wickedness is chilling. PURGE is one of the worst secret societies in Alpha Complex. The one thing we have in our favor is that they are usually insane and can make mistakes normal clones don’t make.” He then shouts back around the corner to Aken-R, “Yes, and he once said that it is better to lock up ten innocent clones then to allow a guilty clone go free for one guilty clone can wreck havoc in society. There is truly wisdom in his sayings.”

Phil-R’s be-socked hand pops up over the walls of the cubicles around the corner. It is holding a slightly scorched PDC. Mr. Sock’s voice says, “Here it is I found it! It’s a little scorched it seems but it appears to be functioning” The hand moves around the cubicles, heading back toward the rest of the team. It stops suddenly just before arriving at where Howard-R is searching the ashes. Phil-R says (and does, though only Howard-R can see him), “Upon noticing Howard-R, Phil lowers the PDC he was holding aloft and greets Howard-R warmly.” Mr. Sock says, “Hello friend troubleshooter, look what I found!” He says (and does), “Phil-R holds out the scorched PDC for Howard to glance at and then pulls his hand back. With his other empty hand Phil-R swings his hand up and points towards the ceiling with his index finger.” Mr. Sock says, “Oh yes, I nearly forgot I still have your blaster don’t I? Hmm yes give me a moment to retrieve it, it checked out fine.” He says (and does), “Phil-R rummages through his things and produces a RED blaster for Howard-R which he holds out towards Howard-R grip first.”

Isaac-O steps fully into the closet, and is out of sight of the cameras.

Aken-R makes a ring with his thumb and forefinger and looks through the ring as he steps into the closet after Isaac-O. From inside, he can be heard saying, “It focuses your attention, you know,” he says, “it’s another thing I learned from Holm-S.” There is a pause and then he says, “Are you using the magnifying glass, team leader? You are the only one with clearance to use it.” There’s another slight pause, and then, “Oh, and also, do you think the rest of us could get access to the case file?

Dean-O says, “Great idea!” He then pulls his PDC back out, presses a few buttons, and then puts it away again. Each of the rest of the team’s PDCs beep with an incoming message shortly thereafter. He then pulls out the GREEN Magnifying Glass and starts using it to read his pamphlet.

Aken-R’s voice once again can be heard saying, “Did you subject your find to fingerprint detection, friend Isaac? And what is that thing, anyway? Any suggestions?” He then starts humming some tune, but it suddenly breaks off in a gasp, the sound of tearing paper, then, “Lookit, here’s another one of those doohickeys.

[OOG: To clarify who’s where:

(The smoking boot is the ashes, not an actual smoking boot)]

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Saturday.

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Turn 123
Don't Just Do Something, Sit There!

...not only a member of the highly treasonous Frankenstein Destroyers Society, but also a PURGE terrorist. He is to be considered armed and highly dangerous. If you see this traitor, contact Internal Security immediately. A 2000 credit reward is being offered for his arrest or termination. Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 123: Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There!

Uh, Phil?” Aken-R says to Phil-R. “Or should I say Mr. Sock? Next ingestion break you’ll have to tell us more about how this puppeteering setup works. Anyway, when you find Eula’s PDC, can you check and see what happened to that alarm? It looks like she keeled over because she was too late with her medication. Was the alarm failure an accident, or diabolical sabotage?

Phil-R stands, letting out an exasperated sigh, and Mr Sock says, “Well I don’t see it anywhere here. You know, I bet that commie mutant traitor Quentin-R snatched it before he ran off! It is probably around the corner where he ran!” Phil-R then says (and does), “Phil-R then dashes quickly from the area in the direction Quentin-R ran.” He disappears around the corner.

Aken-R then moves back over the the group near the supply closet. “You’re right, Howard,” he says to Howard-R. “Can you go look through the ashes? You may very well find the clue that cracks the case.

Howard-R says to Isaac-O, “Not altogether unexpected as smashing bots is what they do after all. Good work, citizen. We are starting to see the outline of the conspiracy. Hopefully we can use this to find more evidence. I suspect that this conspiracy is large and well organized. We must find out right away for Friend Computer. We might want to hunt up an INFRARED janitor or something. The core of Alpha Complex society.” He looks toward the nearest security camera and continues, “I recommend all our INFRARED viewers out there to try the new Likerish Flavored Cold Fun.”

Dean-O says, “Hey, a clue! Great! Lets examine the closet for more clues!”

Aken-R then says to Isaac-O, “What’d you find? And remember what Holm-S used to say: ‘The bad thing about jumping to conclusions is not that you might accuse an innocent citizen – members of secret societies are always guilty. The bad thing is that you might let the actual culprit walk away.’ That was in “Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There!” Boy, what a sharp thinker!

Isaac-O continues holding up the small object in his sleeve, basking in the praise of his teammates.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 31 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 60 – 5 [DFSR] = 55 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 61 PP
  • Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 55 PP
  • Open Slot (???): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Wednesday.

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Turn 122
Jinkies! A Clue!

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 122: Jinkies! A Clue!

Dean-O says to Aken-R, “Hey, I loved those! Weren’t they great? It was all based on a true story too, which is great. I wanna get a hat like his, one day.” He then checks his PDC and starts typing on it, presumably filling out his mutant registration form as ordered.

Howard-R replies also, “We ARE making progress. We just found out that Quentin was a traitor. He may have been involved in these murders or at least his secret society may have been involved. They may have inserted him into our team for that very reason. Some spy from a secret society that is involved may well make the investigation very difficult. On the other hand you are right in saying we have to get moving. We should search the entire area of the fire to see if we can find anything in the ashes. Sometimes you can find clues even then. For example things that are made of alloys that don’t melt in a small fire. We can send those to Intsec. We can dust the walls for fingerprints and send them to Intsec so they can find out if someone who wasn’t supposed to be here was here. Other people on the team might have other suggestions that we should use.”

Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R stands up and straightens his jumpsuit. He cocks his head to one side and says.” Mr. Sock says, “Your PDC? Hmm perhaps it fell out of your pocket when you slumped to the floor so dramatically, here let me help you look for it.” He continues (and continues doing), “Phil-R walks around the area looking at the ground curiously.”

Eula-R says, “Dropped it? I suppose… It has my medication scheduler on it, so I need it.” She brightens, “Actually the alarm should be going off soon, as it’s almost time for one of my medications, so we should know pretty soon exactly where it is.”

Aken-R looks uncomprehendingly at Eula-R being up and apparently ok and moves back over to her. “Eula! Respected senior citizen!” he says, shaking her hand vigorously. “We thought we had lost you! Um, can you tell us what you saw? What happened?” To the others he says, “Let’s listen carefully. We may pick up something similar in her and Larry’s stories. If not, something may come up when we visit the other victims. Can you share the case file with our PDCs, team leader?

Eula-R tries to pull her hand back, looking annoyed, “Lost me? What do you mean? I was right here. What do you think, that I just dropped dead for no good reason? I’m not THAT old, junior. I just fainted, ok? I do that sometimes. As soon as I find my PDC, I’ll be taking something for it.”

Isaac-O looks inside the supply closet, and immediately picks something up off the floor and holds it up, using his jumpsuit sleeve as a kind of ‘glove’ so he doesn’t touch it directly. It is a small object of some sort. It’s difficult to tell what it is from any distance, though. “Look at this!” he exclaims, “It looks like the culprit left a clue! Clearly the work of those vicious bot haters the Frankenstein Destroyers!”

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Friday.

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Turn 121
Elementary, My Dear Wat-SON...

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 121: Elementary, My Dear Wat-SON…

Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R gives the prone form a vigorous shake. He pauses a moment to raise Mr. Sock and says.” Mr. Sock says, “I think this clone is expired.” He continues (and continues doing), “before going back to trying various methods to revive the fallen clone.”

Isaac-O surveys the team and says, “Well, mutie brigade, what are we going to do now? Or are we just going to stand around like a bunch of AF surplus gelgernine vendbots?”

Dean-O exclaims (or tries to), “I’mb woyawwy ‘egishperb! Ishn’ tha’ gwape?” A bit of drool escapes from his mouth and his still-bendy jaw tries to work. Pulling out his PDc with one hand, he waves his arm, which wobbles alarmingly, in the direction of the remainder of the door and continues, “Whew, jou guysh gep on wiphat while I do this.” His sudden clarity of speech corresponds with an equally sudden re-firming of his bones.

At the about the same time that Dean-O’s bones resolidify, the slow strobe stops.

Aken-R says to the two there with him at the supply closet, “Listen up. The three of us have been on this team since the beginning, but we have mostly been paying attention to each other. Now at least we know who the mutants are. Have you noticed how interested Friend Computer is in our progress? And there is also the vidshow audience that is following every move we make. If we don’t start making some progress, we may get demoted to Infrared vat scrapers! Now, remember reading the Inspector Holm-S comics when you were a junior? Holm-S of the Commie Prosecution Unit?” His tone drops an octave to radio quality. ”’I’m Inspector Holm-S from the CPU, and I serve the Computer’. Remember that? Okay, now think, what would Holm-S do? He’d be looking for clues, that’s what. Eula-R died right in front of us, and we need to find out if she was murdered. We can only do that if we work together. So can we? And what do we know so far?”

Howard-R jogs back to where the bulk of the team waits by the supply room door. He tells the others, “The body has been fried to a crisp and so we can’t question him. I have no doubt he deliberately killed himself to protect his fellow conspirators. That is too bad as they obviously need to be arrested, brutally interrogated and executed forthwith. Sadly I couldn’t find any clues in the charred mess before a bot picked it up. No doubt it will be sent to Intsec and maybe we can find out something then. Which secret society he belongs to I do not know but one of them is behind this I am sure. My guess would be Psion as they probably used their freaky mental powers to cause him to use his filthy mutation to cover up the evidence. I admit it is a wild guess but it is the best I can do.”

Suddenly, there is an exclamation from Eula-R, who is swatting lightly at Phil-R while trying to pick herself up off the floor. “Leave me alone, youngin’. I can get up on my own. I’m fine, I’m… Hey, where’s my PDC?” It seems that she wasn’t quite as ‘expired’ as Phil-R thought.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 31 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 60 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 61 PP
  • Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 55 PP
  • Open Slot (???): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Tuesday.

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Turn 120
Have a Happy Day!

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 120: Have a Happy Day!

Aken-R claps his hands to his mouth in surprise. He looks down toward where Eula-R lays spralled on the floor.

Dean-O says, “Blaaowaaaaeeeoowawooo… hehehe…,” as his legs slowly bend weirdly and settle him to the floor where he sits waving his now-bendy arms in front of his face and giggling.

Howard-R takes off jogging toward where the WHOOSHing sound had happened and yells back, “You are right about the inspections but we still have to go after Quentin. As a suspected traitor going after him IS part of the investigation. If he is captured we can question, if the noises we heard killed him we can look for clues from his corpse. In either case following him should be our next move.” He stops at the corner and then bends down to examine something around the corner.

Phil-R says (and does), “Puzzled by the strange activity of the lights, Phil-R takes a moment to consider them before moving over to Eula-R’s side.” Mr Sock says, “You seem to have fallen friend troubleshooter, let me help you up!” Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R then reaches down to help Eula-R regain her feet. Having difficulty with lifting his weight, Phil-R attempts several different approaches to lifting Eula-R.” Eula-R seems to be extremely limp… extremely limp… one almost might say she’s a dead weight.

Issac-O suddenly leaps forward and bites off the supply closet’s doorknob, causing the door to swing open slightly. “There!” he says, chewing away on the doorknob, “See!” he chews some more, “I’m helping,” he chews some more, “the mission.” He finishes chewing and swallows, then takes a big bite out of the door itself before continuing, “Much,” he chews some more, “easier to see,” he chews some more, “into the closet,” he chews some more, “now.” He swallows. He looks over toward the corner where Howard-R is now crouched, “Well that problem seems to have taken care of itself! Praise Friend Computer!”

Aken-R starts motioning frantically to his fellow team mates to come join Dean-O, Isaac-O and him at the entry to the supply closet.

Friend Computer’s eye appears on the wall-mounted monitor, though it brightens and dims in time with the slow strobe effect.

“Citizen Dean-O-KTI, you appear to have contracted the… Rubbery Bones… mutation. Anticipating your desire to loyally register your mutation, I have dispatched a delivery bot with your Registered Mutant arm band and a pamphlet entitled So You’re a Mutant: A Guide to Adjusting To Your New Life as a Genetic Deviant. Please fill in the electronic form which I am forwarding to your PDC at your earliest convenience. Have a Happy Day!”

There is a slight pause, then.

“Additional: Upon review of recent video footage, it has been determined that citizen Quentin-R-PAD has been treasonously hiding a… Pyrokinesis… mutation, and is a danger to himself as well as others. His current clone has been detained for investigation, medication, and registration. Due to the delay this will cause, I have decided to remove him from this Troubleshooter Team. Citizen Isaac-O-MEL, you are to once again take on the duties of Public Relations Officer in addition to your current duties as Hygiene Officer until such time as a new Public Relations Officer or Hygiene Officer is assigned to this Troubleshooter Team. Have a Happy Day!”

There is another slight pause, then.

“Additional: Citizen Isaac-O-MEL, please refrain from destroying PLC property. You have been fined 50 credits. Have a Happy Day!”

There is one more slight pause, then.

“Additional: A Technical Services technician has been dispatched to your locations to investigate the current lighting anomaly. Sorry for the Inconvenience. Have a Happy Day!”

The slow strobing effect continues as the Eye fades out. A tiny delivery bot rolls up, drops a YELLOW strip of cloth, and a cheerful-looking pamphlet in front of Dean-O, and rolls away quickly before anyone can react to it.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals: Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 31 PP Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 60 PP starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 61 PP Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 55 PP Open Slot (???): ?? PP


Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Friday.

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Turn 119
Speech! Speech!

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 119: Speech! Speech!

Dean-O exclaims happily, “Great! I love equipment inspections! But you’ll have to come closer than that to inspect my equipment! Won’t that be fun? Eh? Eh!? I know I’m looking forward to it!”

Heartily sick of Quentin-R’s antics Issac-O turns to the assembled team. “Citizens you have all just witnessed an act so foul, so vile, that I fully expect Friend Computer to brainscrub us all as a result. Quentin-R has attempted once again to sabotage our mission by disobeying our team leader’s express orders to all assemble here at the supply closet. Further to this he has now disobeyed a direct order from both me and our team leader to submit to a mandatory hygiene inspection, although frankly I don’t think the actual inspection is necessary as a mining bot with no ocular sensors at the bottom of a sump filled with IR slime could see that he is a festering wound on the standards of hygiene I and Friend Computer hold dear.” Issac-O holds up a hand in a stop gesture towards Phil-R. “While I have no problem what-so-ever with submitting to the equipment check you have so thoughtfully scheduled at this time, I feel that the time has come for us to face the sad truth that Quentin is in league with the murderer or murderers and the only way we can move forward is to capture and interrogate him, then terminate him for his disgusting acts of treason. Now are you with me or are you all traitors too?”

Phil-R holds up Mr. Sock as if to speak but stops short and looks at Isaac-O for the duration of his speech with his mouth open, at the end of Isaac’s speech he closes his mouth shut with an audible click of his teeth and then turns his attention to the team leader.

Howard says “Much as I hate to think there is a traitor among the troubleshooters your logic is flawless. No one would flee a mere hygiene inspection, it is merely a poor ruse. He must have realized you figured it out and is fleeing the scene of his treachery. I have just given my pistol for inspection so I can’t shoot him right now but I am with you once you have captured this disgusting traitor. The lengths the traitors behind these murders will go to cover up their conspiracies sickens me. To deliberately fail hygiene inspections so you have an excuse to flee is inexcusable. It is also stupid of a traitor to think he can throw dust in our eyes like that. However, most traitors are stupid otherwise they wouldn’t be traitors. I hope he will confess his crimes before termination but I doubt he will. His kind never does.”

Aken-R is halfway between Eula-R’s cubicle, and the supply closet. Looking back, he spots an opportunity to use his bull horn sees a need for improved team communication. He turns back. “Isaac-O is absolutely correct. Remember what Friend Computer said? Citizen Howard-R was not with us at the time, so I’ll repeat for him what Friend Computer said. Friend Computer said:” Aken-R puts his bullhorn to his mouth and shouts into it, “THIS MISSION HAS A VERY HIGH PRIORITY, AND SHOULD NOT BE DELAYED FOR ANY REASON.” In his normal, loud voice, he resumes, “I guess that means no health and equipment checks right now. Friend Computer said:” Up comes the bullhorn again, “IF A PROBLEM ARISES THAT CAN WAIT UNTIL BRIEFING, BE SURE TO HAVE YOUR LOYALTY OFFICER MAKE A NOTE OF IT.” He continues ‘normally,’ “So I’ll note that we need to do those checks, at our next dinner break maybe? Friend Computer said:” Again with the bullhorn, “NO ONE IS TO LEAVE THE REST OF THE TEAM FOR ANY REASON.” Down comes the bullhorn, “But Quentin is out of earshot, so we can’t remind him that he is wrong.” The bullhorn comes up again, but while his mouth moves, no sound comes out. At the same moment, Dean-O shouts, “NOW LET’S GO AND SOLVE THIS HERE CRIME, SHALL WE? FRIEND COMPUTER SAYS!” in an amazing imitation of Aken-R’s voice. Aken-R turns back towards Dean-O and the supply closet.

At the same moment, Dean-O seems to start looking kind of droopy, the light in the room begins to brighten and dim in a slow strobing effect, Eula-R drops to the floor limply and doesn’t move, and Isaac-O’s eyes begin to dart around as if looking for something.

Just around the corner of the row of cubicles, in the direction that Quentin-R had gone, there is a sudden scream, followed by a WHOOSH, and a thud. Smoke begins to waft toward the ceiling from the spot where the sounds came from, and the smell of burnt soylent fills the area. Then the fire suppression foam shoots into that area (no one in the team is hit with it this time) and the smoke stops.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 29 + 2 (for starting off this wonderfully dramatic series of speeches) = 31 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 59 + 1 ([DFSR]) = 60 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 60 + 1 (good dramatic speech) = 61 PP
  • Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 54 + 1 (good dramatic speech) = 55 PP
  • Open Slot (???): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Tuesday.

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Turn 118
May I Remind You...

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 118: May I Remind You…

Isaac-O nods his head in agreement to Dean-O, “I’ll take that as affirmative!” He then heads over to Quentin-R and tells him, “Hold out your arm for a mandatory hygiene inspection.”

Quentin-R pulls away, “No! I saw what it did to Roy-R!” As Isaac-O continues to advance on him, he finally bolts and disappears into the cubicles, screaming, “You’ll never catch me I’m the Ging-R-BRD Man!!!!

Eula-R looks after the running Quentin-R and says, “What a strange young clone…,” and seeing that the team appears to be finished with her, brushes off the few remaining wisps of foam and returns to work.

Dean-O continues to inspect the closed door of the supply closet.

Howard-R says to Phil-R, “Very well, I have just gotten my equipment from the PLC and the equipment should all be in good shape.” He hands over his laser pistol, spare barrel, PDC and morale kit. He then turns to Dean-O, “You are correct, a clean team is a happy team. As happiness officer it is good to know you are on the ball.”

Phil-R, seeing that everyone except Howard-R appears to be ignoring him, says (and does), “Phil-R gesticulates with Mr. Sock while speaking via the sock in a loud and impatient tone.” Mr Sock says, “May I remind you, friend troubleshooters, that it is my job to maintain the equipment so that they are fully functioning when they are to be utilized in the service of our glorious Friend Computer?

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:
  • Grov-R-LER (Dean-O-KTI-1): 66 PP
  • Phial (Isaac-O-MEL-2): 29 PP
  • Wys-I-wyg (Phil-R-XYZ-1): 59 PP
  • starlust (Howard-R-WST-2): 60 PP
  • (Coming Soon) Valen10 (Aken-R-BSH-2): 58 + 1 (yeah, even before starting… for writing such a great intro for me to use) = 54 PP
  • Open Slot (Quentin-R-PAD-3): ?? PP

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Friday.

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Turn 117
For He is a Jolly Good Clone

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 117: For He is a Jolly Good Clone

Quentin-R writhes for a moment on the floor, holding his bruised gut.

Dean-O continues skipping toward the supply closet, but slips on a bit of foam and falls. He seems delighted and says, “Hahah, that was brilliant! Wasn’t that brilliant!?”

Quentin-R stops writhing suddenly and begins to slither over the floor, through the rapidly disappearing foam, toward Howard-R, seemingly under the impression that there’s enough foam to hide his approach.

As Dean-O stands again, Isaac-O approaches him, saying, “Excuse me Team Leader but are you sure that you haven’t taken slightly more medication that Friend Computer recommends? I only inquire because you seem to be in some confusion about the importance of hygiene. Friend Computer has entrusted a fellow Orange with this most important of Mandatory Bonus Duties only because of the extreme importance that proper hygiene provides for the successful completion of this mission. Once we have all assembled ourselves at the supply closet unless there is a pressing mission related reason I must insist upon the performance of the required check.”

Dean-O seems to like the idea. He says, “Great! Isn’t that great!? Oh clone, hygiene is sooo great!!” as he continues skipping toward the supply closet, where he starts inspecting the closed door from various angles.

Howard-R looks around and says “We should all be happy about Roy’s promotion. Maybe we should sing ‘For He is a Jolly Good Clone’ while getting to the next murder scene. FC can pipe in the sound to his PDC. Give him a real send off for a job well done.”

Quentin-R reaches Howard-R and suddenly pops up off the floor and grabs his hand to shake it and grins at him, sending a gleam of light off his very white teeth. “Welcome. Say, could you help a clone out…. little short this month cycle…,” he says winningly.

Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R strides over to Howard-R-WST and greets him warmly.” ‘Mr. Sock’ says, “Hello new friend troubleshooter!” Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R grabs one of Howard-R’s hands and gives it a vigorous shake before backing away from him and announcing loudly” ‘Mr Sock’ says, “Random Surprise Inspection time, please hand over all of your equipment so I may perform my duties for Friend Computer!” Phil-R says (and does), “Phil-R smiles happily at his fellow troubleshooters, watching them all expectantly.”

The foam has pretty much all dissolved away, leaving only a faint soapy residue on the clones and carpet.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Tuesday.

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Turn 116
Goodbye, Roy-O. Hello, Howard-R.

Welcome Back, Loyal Vidshow-watching Citizens! And now back to our show.

Episode 3: Larry-R’s Lament

Turn 116: Goodbye, Roy-O. Hello, Howard-R.

Phil-R uses Mr. Sock to make coughing and spitting sounds. Letting out one last dramatic “PTOOIE” with Mr. Sock, he looks at the rest of the team, mildly confused.

Quentin-R stands up, covered in foam, burnt jumpsuit, and dust from the ceiling. He somberly scrapes some of the gunk off, then opens up a pocket to pull out a nearly empty, but clean, packet of Mint-O’s. He pops the last one in his mouth, smiles and turns toward a camera to say, “Once again the efficient training given to all troubleshooters has saved the day. A minor conflagration that could easily have spiraled out of hand into a medium sized fire has been contained, with minimal damage to clones, and minimal disruption to this fine workplace….” He gestures to take in the room, and continues, ”...I would like to thank my fellow team mates for their diligent action, and I would like to remind all viewers that combating a fire can also be fun time!”

Quentin-R then takes a few steps back, screams “Belly Slide!” and makes a leaping dive into the foam, trying to slide, but only succeeding in doing a rather painful bellyflop onto the floor.

Dean-O exclaims cheerfully (or perhaps manically) through the foam, “Well, thank Computer for that! Come along team, we’ve got clues to find! Won’t that be fun!? Eh!? Eh!? Doesn’t that sound like fun!? Eh Come on!! Last one there’s a rotten traitor!!!”, and begins to skip off toward the supply closet.

Isaac-O, while trying to maintain his footing in the foam, looks at Dean-O and shakes his head, saying, “You’re like a 5 credit vendorama-bot in a one credit arcade aren’t you? Except sadly lacking in the additional multiple personality module.”

Suddenly, a 6 foot tall RED-clearance citizen with red hair and green eyes walks energetically into the room and up to Roy-R. He holds out a RED-bordered sheet of paper. He says, as if giving a memorized statement, “Citizen Roy-O-HBL. You have been promoted to ORANGE clearance, and reassigned to another mission. I, Howard-R-WST, have been sent to replace you as Happiness Officer for this team. Here are your new orders. Please hand over all equipment assigned to you for this mission and then follow the instructions here.”

Roy-RO takes the sheet and reads it. His eyes widen, and he looks at Howard-R, then back at the sheet, then back at Howard-R. He says, “Thertainly, thitithen! Here ith the equipment.” He then hands over the Morale Kit and 3 RED laser barrels to Howard-R, and gives a quick salute to the team. “It’th been an honor, thitithens,” he says, and leaves hurriedly with a smile on his face.

We shall return to the PBEM Network’s presentation of The Bot Murders after these messages…


Perversity Points Totals:

Have your turns to me before 1200 GMT (That’s 0800 EDT) Saturday.


Here comes a New Challenger! Welcome, Starlust! We still have one more slot open, citizens! Doesn’t someone want to take over Aken-R?

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